I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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