My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
we're so committed to being not committed
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
