So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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