I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
