i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize