Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
