you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
