I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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