if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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