I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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