i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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