If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
