butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
