Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
