That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
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