I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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