Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize