She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
My ass is underappreciated
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
