If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
