I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
