Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
