yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Can I color on your dick again?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize