and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
