Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
