I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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