thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
