doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
