I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Randomize