I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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