OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
