Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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