To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
