I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
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