My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
