Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
My liver just had a heart attack.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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