shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
