Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
