She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm too high and old for this...
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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