but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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