my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
