So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
