How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
