Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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