u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize