His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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