I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
