If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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