how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
