the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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