i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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