Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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