discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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