i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Just high enough for therapy.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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