Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
