you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
