soooo we both peed the bed last night...
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
