Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
My dick has a subreddit
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
