we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
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