Don't you send me to vm
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
The air taste purple.
Randomize
