Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
