Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
